I Am So Grateful.

Kissa and Bella. Thank you. Thank you so so much. This means a lot.

This is the first reward I've recieved and I am so over the moon.

To think that so many of you (82 to be precise) are following me, listening, commenting and even giving me awards is so mind blowing.

To think that I got this award from both of you too! Wow!

You are both so amazing, gorgeous, kind, caring, friendly, lovely, beautiful and mind blowing.

You should all check them both out.

So, there are conditions upon which you recieve his award.

1. You need to thank the person who gave it to you (check)

2. List seven things about yourself

3. Pass on to ten people you think deserve this award

4. Drop by and let them know you appreciate them

So, here we go...

I love to bake, I really really do. For some reason it brings me such happiness.

People say that I'm the kindest person they know, friends think I deserve so much respect because I'm so nice and caring. I disagree. I don't think I am. I don't know why.

I love to travel. It's one of my passions. Even though I've done a lot of travelling in my life already I can't wait until I can travel all over the world.

I'm learning Japanese and I love it. I wish that I could speak fluently.

I love art and I always have. I guess you could say it's my talent.

I want to be a fashion stylist/fashion journalist/theatre actor/artist when I'm older.

I miss my family in England and Brussels oh so much (I don't really have family in Australia) I wish I could see them all the time. The fact that I can't makes me sad.

Now the tricky part, passing it on to ten people...

Ruby LoveBird; the girl who was with me from the start.

You mean ever so much to me. I love you.

BellaAna; you make me laugh. You fill me with joy.

Glitch, you make me feel loved and missed. You have such an amazing spirit.

Hannah; you are so lovely. I always love reading your posts.

Let's do this.; you always manage to leave me long, in-depth and heart warming comments at the right moments.

Campaign for slim; I find that I can relate to you so much. You personality really come through.

Thinner is the Winner; your blog is beautiful, your comments are beautiful, you are beautiful.

deer&wolves, your blog is amazing, much like you. Your words are magic.

Addicted to Thin; I hope that this award makes your day even greater you sweet thing.

annamaria, you have one of those blogs that I just love visiting again and again.

All you girls deserve this award. You have all touched my heart in many ways.

I love you.

There were also so many of you that I didn't give the award to that I wanted to (I only gave it to people that hadn't recieved it before) and it was so hard to limit it down.

Everyone please smile today because the world is beautiful.

Love Anafly

xxxxx

You Are Lovely

Helloooooooo again :)

First off I want to give a big fat (no pun intended) welcome to my fabulous new followers!I know I say this everytime I say hello to all new followers but I seriously can't believe that so many people are following me!!

To have 73 followers?

I never thought that was possible!

So thank you so so much for listening to what this crazy girl has to say.

Hannah; well what they've done so far to 'control my eating' is that they make my lunch, quiz me on what I had for an afternoon snack and they quiz me on my breakfast.

Luckily for me it actually isn't working... not that they know.

No, being hospitalised would not be fun, but I don't think that'll ever happen *knocks wood*

determined girl; your comments always leave me with the biggest smile on my face. I look quite ridiculous as I sit goofily at the computer screen with a little grin but thank you.

It is so sweet of you to say that I'm you're hero, that warms my heart!

I really am so sorry but I don't think I can promise that 44kg will be my ultimate goal.

I'm pretty sure if will be though because I don't think I can even get there in the first place, but it does sound like such a beautiful number.

Your support is oh so loved.

Glitch; hahaha my oh my oh my I missed you too!

Even though I hated being gone I'm glad I was missed haha.

I don't plan on ever leaving, I'm really going to try and be a better blogger.

Also thank you guys for accepting my marriage proposal, here is your ring

hehehe man I'm lame.

Anyway, I want to fix up my blog a bit but I'm having some difficulties and hope that you might be able to offer some assistance?

How can I get my heading "The Anafly" in the centre? I remember doing it a while ago but have forgotten :S

I also want to add a pretty header from shabby blogs but I don't know how... help!! haha.

Since my uber binge on Sunday I've managed to make up for it this week which is excellent. Both Monday and Tuesday were negative calorie days and I'm also hoping the same for Thursday.

Finally, here is some gorgeous thinspo for you lovely lovely butterflies.

I Creep Out From the Darkness

First off: I am sorry.

I'm sorry I was gone so long but you see, I've been knee deep in school work and have been trying to make my way through it all.

This is also the first time that I've had proper access to the computer without having to do an assignment or without pesky family around.

I have missed you all so so so much and have felt terrible about the fact that I haven't been able to comment on your blogs.

I have a few things to fill you in on but I have to be quick, I'm sorry, but I have extension English homework due that I've barely started.

1. I have reached 46 kilos!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
2. I'm still far too fat fat fat
3. I got my blood taken the other day for the first time, I had to get weighed and measured
4. My doctor told me to put on weight, this resulted in a massive fight with my mum
5. My parents are trying to control my eating a bit more but it's been a massive failure
6. I binged WAY TOO MUCH the other day but am back in routine
7. My 'best friend' and I are on rocky grounds at the moment

aaaand... hmm.... anything else? oh yeah, I just want to be skinny.

I almost cracked the other day and gave it all up, but don't worry, I stuck with it. I can't give this up.

AJ, R, Louise, determined girl, Acka11, Iris, Mia, Pariis, Bella, a not so little mermaid, NightFlower, Lorna and Kissa you guys are all so so so so so amazing! It seriously blows my mind. Thank you for all your beautiful comments. I'm not the gorgeous one, you all are. My love goes out to you all because you all mean so much to me. Reading all your comments made me so happy and made me feel so loved. You're all amazing. There aren't enough words in the english language to express my love to you all. You're all stunning, intelligent, kind, caring, funny; GAAAAH you're all just so fabulous. Marry me?

I'm glad you enjoyed the story haha. I guess I just have the gift of the gab and managed to worm my way out of suspicion. Also, that's not my natural hair colour, as some of you asked.

I'm going to try so so hard to catch up on all of your blogs and comment.

Sending lots of kisses your way,

Anafly

xxx

A Semi-funny Story Actually

My parents are becoming even more suspicious.

They keep making comments about my weight.

ALL THE TIME.

They keep asking me what I've eaten.

ALL THE TIME.

but that's not the semi-funny story...

For the last couple of weeks on the odd ocassion I've been throwing my dinner

or lunch

over our neighbours fence into their side passage.

(We've had quite a history with these neighbours. They're horrible).

Anyway,

Just the other day I got home and realised that I forgot to dispose of my lunch:

oily

fatty

greasy

calorie-loaded

pizza.

So, as soon as I could I threw it out of my parents window.

Then, at like 8.30 when my parents were home there was a knock on the door.

It was one of the horrible neighbours.

I instantly knew why they were here and started FREAKING.

A little while later dad comes into the room holding my piece of pizza covered in crawling ants.

He said that rice and other foods had been chucked over their fence the last week or so.

They all instantly thought I did it.

BUT I've managed to avoid suspicion.

It's now known as 'The Pizza Mystery'.

I know they still think it was me slightly...

But hey, I'm in the clear.

I find it quite amusing, the whole story.

Thank you all so so so so much for your beautiful comments.

I couldn't believe that I have 14 on my last post!!

That's insane! I LOVE YOU ALL!

Now to quickly answer a question:

My school year starts on the 31st of February and finishes on like the 16 of December.

Thank you all for the lengthy comments, I'm sorry but I don't have enough time to respond.

I'm glad you all liked the pictures of the foods!

Now........ What I'm about to do next is a huge step for me... I have decided to post a picture or two of me on here... Next time I post I might get rid of them because I'm really wary about it. I'll still remain under the name Anafly though.

Love you all so so so so much my little vixen butterflies

xxxxxxxx

ps. once I started putting up pictures I went a little insane... I've put up quite a few...

Love Until We Bleed

I logged on this morning and did a double, then a triple take. 33 followers?!!?! Is this for real? Thanks so much everyone who is following me, I can't thank you enough. I know I've said this before but when I first started this blog I thought that I'd be lucky to get 10 followers, and now I've got more than triple that. Also thank you so so much to everyone who comments. Your comments are what push me along and make me try to be the best that I can be.

I haven't posted for a while because I haven't felt like I've had much to say. It turns out that the counsellor left a message with my mum asking her to ring her but because my mum's been so busy she hasn't had the time to. I feel like I've been lulled into a false sense of security.

Hmm, now to delve into my 'love' life. I think I'm weird. About six or so months ago I started going out with my first boyfriend. We went out for four and a bit months and then we mutually broke up but we're still friends. About two weeks after we broke up this guy, D, wrote me a song where some of the lyrics were 'only in my dreams I can kiss you' and stuff like that. He'd talk to me on facebook calling me beautiful but was too shy to talk in person. Then this other guy, A, liked me too and for a bit I liked him and we hooked up at a party he had. So, I had the choice in two guys. Then to make matters more difficult I was told that my best boy friend O (we call each other biffleys) also liked me. This was after being biffleys for three years. Three guys. Great -___- Long story short, in the end D turned out to be a bit of a creep, I lost feelings for A (but I feel like I led him on and two months on I still feel horrible) and then O and I started going out. To this day we've been going out for a month and a couple of days. But the thing is, I don't want a boyfriend. I'm simply not interested. I read your blogs and you guys say that you want boyfriends (if you don't already have them) and you want to be adored by a boy. Is it odd that I don't want to be? Is it odd that I feel at the moment I can't be mentally and physically with a boy? I just simply can not do it. Which leads to a complicated situation with O. I like him, I want to go out with him but just not now. I just can't do it but I don't know why. I read somewhere that Anorexia decreases your labido and that when people get Anorexia they push people away. Again, I don't know if I have Anorexia, but is that true? Baaaah it's just so confusing... Or maybe I just simply am not interested at the moment? Help? Haha.

So, currently I surpsisingly still weigh 47 kilos after such a disgusdtingly food orientated weekend with christas barbeques, birthday parties and farewells at Yum Cha. I'm trying to not concentrate on the past and concentrate on the future. But now I don't know how much I want to weigh, I don't know what my next goal should be. I don't want it to be anything too drastic but I need a weight that I can work towards. Any suggestions? Maybe 45 kilos?

I'm back on my horse

Thank you thank you thank you for all your beautiful, kind and inspiring comments on my last post. Your comments made me pull on through my negativity and my 'crisis' and to try and make the next day a better one. Even though I've eaten a bit more than I would have liked I've been doing quite a lot of excercise. I love you guys so so much. Like seriously, words can not describe it. You guys are here for me and understand what I'm going through when other people don't. Again, I'm sorry for the little 'melt down', I wasn't in a very good place...

But I have managed to bite back! Checking the scales when I woke up this morning I was 46.5 kilos (aaaaah-maaaaa-zing!) but I don't believe it and don't want to push my luck so I won't be changing the weight gizmo up above just in case...

Ruby Lovebird, I was following you! I swear! Haha, your latest blog posts always turned up in my blogs news feed... maybe my computer malfunctioned and unfollowed you? Nevertheless, I'm following you now :)

I have my formal tomorrow night. I'm sooooooooooooooooooooo excited except my dress (which I bought mid-year in Winter) doesn't fit me anymore... It's a bit too big. This is a really good thing but also a terribly bad thing. My mum went all crazy and said that if I wanted to buy a new dress I should have done so sooner and not a day before the formal. Which I should have, but she told me the dress looked fine so thats why I didn't. Oh well. I'll just have to deal with it. I hate wearing things that don't fit. Oh also my size 8 (american size 4) jeans which have never really fit me properly are so big now around the hip and the upper thigh that I can't really wear them anymore. I now need to wear size 6 (american size 2) jeans. This is a pretty big step. My top half has been a size 6 for a while and I wear dresses that are size 6 but my bottom half is bigger because of my thighs and my big bootay. Wait! Does anyone have any suggestions? It's a three course meal at the formal (greek salad, vegetarian risotto and a chocolate self-saucing pudding) and I'm going to be eating in front of all my friends and the glasses are see through (so no chewing and spitting in there) how can I not eat it all with out people bringing it up?

Anyway this post was meant to only be me checking in but once I started I didn't stop. Good luck girlies, I'll check in after formal and let you know how it went.

Love you all,
Anafly
xxx

Well that's embarassing...

I've somehow managed to follow myself... I don't even know how I did that?!?! Any suggestions on how to unfollow yourself?

Anyway I'm sorry if I sound like a broken record here but I am so truly thankful that you guys are following me, reading what I have to say and even better, commenting on my posts. I love you all. The other day I was thinking about how lonely this whole eating thing is and how no one I know understands but then I stopped and thought about you guys. You guys understand what I'm going through, you guys know that I just can't 'switch it off'. I knew that if I posted how I was feeling on here someone would read it and agree. So thank you. Thank you so so much.

Yesterdays eating was fantastic... until dinner. You see occasionally when I eat my family aren't around. They're busy getting ready in the morning while i have breakfast, they're not with me at school and sometimes I'm so hungry when I get home I eat dinner early before they get home. Last night though while my dad was in Melbourne I went out for dinner with my mum and my brother. I ordered a salad (minus the dressing) and when my mum gave me a dissaproiving look I also ordered a bread roll. That seemed fine but then my mum brought up how her high school friends daughter (who's a couple years older than me and has had anorexia for roughly two years) used to just have salad for dinner and this was an early sign of anorexia. I just said that I wasn't hungry after Zumba but they then forced me to order and eat a cheesecake in front of them claiming I needed to put on weight. Phhhhh. Liars. After eating 2/3 of it I complained of feeling 'sick' because they forced me to eat the cheesecake when I was already full. My mum was then just like 'We didn't force you to eat it'. Grrrrrr.

So anyway today I think I made up for that with a small bowl of Guardian cereal for breakfast, a mini wholemeal avocado roll for lunch and three mini potato, pring onion, dill and chive pancakes (and lots of tea and water).

I've been reading all your blogs religiously, you guys amaze me.

Love,

Anafly

xxx