So confuzzled

I'm in such a happy mood and yet I'm so angry with myself. It's holidays so my meals arent as organised as I'm out a lot... I feel like I've been eating too much. I seem to be full a lot lately which is good, but then I still eat breakfast and dinner. So I don't know whether I feel full because I've eaten a lot or if I just feel full and then I eat but I actually haven't been consuming much? As you can see my brain is muddled. What makes things worse is that because I've been sick my parents have been bringing home brownies and lemon tarts and such and I appreciate that they're thinking of me but I've found it really hard to say no, so then I eat them but then I see my ugly 50 kilo flabby fat body in the mirror and regret it instantly. It's a cruel cycle. Also because I'm tired I don't seem to have the energy to do anything about it like not eating my next meal or making my portions a lot smaller... Old me, please come back. I miss you.

Love you all,
Anafly
xxx