Sunday, December 11, 2011

Je suis un échec baise grosse, je suis si les gras graisse.

Ok, I'm sorry to post twice in one day, I know you must be sick of me but I'm so so fat.
SO fat.
Today I've eaten the most that I've eaten in ages.
Roughly 1,200 calories worth.
I can't even look at that number.
My mum just kept getting me food and watching me eat it.
2 Weight Watchers mini chocolate whirls, 1 Weight Watchers mini carrot cake slice, a BIG serve of Vegetarian Rice Noodles and 18 small pieces of caramello chocolate.
I know.
That's disgusting.
But I kind of have a hang over and I'm on my period.
I know that's no excuse.
I knew what I was doing was wrong but I couldn't stop.
I knew how it'd make me feel, I knew I knew I knew.
But I couldn't stop myself.
I wish I could just get rid of what's inside my stomach.
I hate it.
I hate me.
I'm a fat "putain de" failure.
I don't think I can post again until I'm at least 55 kilos.
Please leave me some words of encouragement or advice.
I love you all so incredibly much, what would I do without you guys?


  1. First of all, I am currently in the exact same situation as you, so you're not alone.
    Second, lets breathe :)

    This overeating might be a good thing, it might help jump start our metabolisms a little bit which is always good.

    Also, we mustn't forget that tomorrow is a brand new day and that means eating as little as possible or just not eating at all.

    It will really be ok, one episode of over eating wont kill us and lets remember that 1200 calories is the recommended calorie intake for a healthy weight loss. So it really can't be that bad.

    Tomorrow will be better. Just keep on saying that to yourself. That's what I'm doing.
    Gah, its alright, we'll be fine!!

    And you have to keep posting, I think your blog is amazing.


    Sorry for the weird comment, I'm not thinking straight today, too much food.

  2. You are fine! It's just one day. Most (normal) people are eating 2000 cals a day, 1200 isn't that bad. Get some exercise in, or drink some tea, read a book, light a candle, do your nails. Do something that relaxes you and makes you feel good about yourself. Just focus tomorrow and you'll be good as new!


  3. Don't worry, just start again from now :) every second is a new start! At least you realise you shouldn't have done it so you are less likely to do it again :) and 1200 isn't enough to gain anything but food weight anyway :)
    If you feel really bad you could excercise some off?
    Just focus on making tomorrow better :)
    Lottie x

  4. It's okay. We all have really shitty days in terms of food and 1200 isn't too bad really. It's still under the RDA.

  5. As someone said above, a higher amount of calories will boost metabolism and you will surely lose quickly the next day!!! ALSO, you have NOTHING to worry about, when my period came last week i binged for FOUR days in a lucked out on 1,200 cals. Everyday i consumed about 3,000. I KNOW IM A PIG. & you wont gain on 1,200 cals. It will do good to you my dear :) Much love, xx

  6. It's so weird, these cycles of doing well then not, they are so real. I am doing the exact same thing as you. If you think 1200cal a day is bad, yesterday I did at least 3 times that. Some huge number, I can't even bear to think about it.
    You won't gain any weight because of it. You just won't lose as fast as you'd like but hey, we are all bloated and gross during our periods.

    Besides, it's over. It's done. There's nothing to be done about that now so just forget it. And focus on how much better you are going to do today.

    It's not about what you did, but how you bounce back from it.

  7. Thank you so much.
    Yes will do.
    Love you

  8. Following back :) Dw we all have bince days, or in my case, binge WEEKS. gah. We will get there in the end xx

  9. Okay. Don't stop posting. that's the worst thing to do right now. You're feeling at your most vulnerable right now, and if you don't have a place to share, you'll feel even more alone. I'm going though a similar thing right now; I was doing pretty well, then I lost control for just a minute and everything went to shit. You've got to hang in there, though, so I'll know that I can, too. We'll help each other along. Love, xx

  10. B, i know it sucks, i had a mad fuck off hang over yesterday and ate a chocolate bar and toast and rice salad. gross. thiss sucks, wahhhhh, why cant we just never eat again. i love you. thank you for the sweeetest comments ever xxxxx

  11. Do not stop posting, I repeat do not stop posting.
    If anything you will loose motivation, and eat more.
    No one here judges you and I LOVE to hear how your day went, even if it went badly. I know it can be hard being so young, I am 17 as well. When everyone else is eating and enjoying life and here we are doing everything in our power not to eat >:( Everyone has binge days, even the strongest. Let this be motivation to do better tomorrow!
    Stay strong lovely<3

  12. Thank you for letting me post it. You are so beautiful and so is your blog.
    You write so many things that I identify with, not that it is a good, I hate the thought of you going through anything like I do, but it can be nice to know that I'm not going mad.

    Oh and I don't keep following and unfollowing you. Somethings up with blogger I think, because I've followed you about 7 times and you keep disappearing of my dahsboard.

    Thanks again.
    I really do love you

  13. I feel uncomfortable with food in my stomach, too. It's strange and funny but, at the other time I love the taste in my mouth. Mia's not an answer,but sometimes it's urging me.

    You have to be strong, but you have to be healthy, too. Don't do anything that'd hurt you. It's easy to say, I know.

    I'm sending you all of my love and hope, all of positive feelings I have.

  14. you'll manage! see this as a refeed and restart for the new week :) i know you can do it!
    (sorry i don't reply to your posts, somehow my blogger timeline doesn't update and I just now saw you've posted something ever since I'm following you - thanks so much for YOUR comments!!!)

  15. You know what though, sometimes when everything is shit and your head is fucked, all you need is to move. Go dance, walk do whatever. Move, and the chemicals in your brain will literally make you happier. I love you. Be strong.


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