Saturday, December 4, 2010

Little Lovers So Polite

So, formal night went really really well. I had only a few, slight hiccups. My dress kept on falling. It didn't fit at all, it was practically 2 sizes too big and because of the shape and design of it I couldn't safety pin it (thanks for the suggestions Erin Rose and Jennie anyway) so all I could do was try and sticky tape myself in it -____- the tape kept coming out during the night so whenever I danced I had to hold onto the top of it (it was strapless) but I got a lot of comments on how nice it looked and also how skinny I was. So, I guess that's good? It shows that I've lost weight? Also, I ate aaaaall the food that was put in front of me. It was just so good! And because I was talking and the servings were small I didn't really notice. But I'm not going to beat myself up about it I'll just have to improve this week. Resist temptations.

Anyway, I don't know if you know or not but this whole year I've been saying that I don't have anorexia... I mean, it doesn't seem like something that would happen to me. It seems like one of those things that happens to other people. You know what I mean? Anyway, I checked out the signs for anorexia...

  1. Sudden and severe weight loss - maybe?
  2. Obsessing about food, weight and/or appearance. People with anorexia can often tell you how many calories are in a wide number of foods. They may way themselves several times a day. They often believe they are fat when they are severely underweight. - check, check, check, check, check, check
  3. Preoccupation with food. In addition to knowing calories in foods anorexic people may cook for others, collect recipes and so on. They don't often eat what they make. - cheeeeck
  4. Withdrawal from social situations especially those involving food. - semi-check
  5. Lying about their weight and how much they eat. People with anorexia may pretend to eat to avoid confrontations about their condition. They may also insist they are not hungry even if it's been a while since their last meal. - *sigh* check, check and check
  6. Strange eating habits. - soooort of
  7. Health problems. This includes weakness, dizziness and lethargy. - mmyeaaah but as if it's because of anorexia
  8. Abusing diet pills and/or laxatives. - nope
  9. Vomiting after eating. This is actually a sign of bulimia but it occasionally comes along with anorexia. - noooooooooo
  10. Exercising excessively. - sort of

So... what does this mean? Help? Am I just in denial or...? I just don't know...

Love you all,




  1. I was in denial. I dont know if it is better to accept your disorder and decide to do something about it or not, or just make yourself believe that this is nothing extreme and promise to yourself to pull yourself out of it.

    so glad you had fun at the dance! and congrats on all the comments! you deserve it!

    ahh the dress issues. strapless is so glam, yet so so hard to dance with. damn boobs.

    dont stress about your food! i am sure it was healhty,and it will most likely it will just boost your metabolism!!!!


  2. if you were in denial i don't think you would have looked this up, but i could be wrong. it might be a good thing to be aware of it, so you can look after yourself and don't let it get to big a hold on you.

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  5. girllll you sound like my twin. like seriously I just read your past entries, you and I are so much alike, even down to the eating way to much at the midnight harry potter premiere!
    another similarity is that I had this similar scare of an ED this past summer. I had dropped 15ish pounds at this point in a matter of a month and a half, my family was commenting and acting worried, and I was kind of starting to act strange. I did one of these surveys and my behavior sounded extremely similar to the symptoms of EDNOS and orthorexia. If you want to, read my entries from mid-july, july 21 and 22 are the climax off it. It shows a pretty good description of how I felt and what I did.

    Once I realized what I might have, I was so scared and afraid, I'd always said I wouldn't become ana, but just kind of dabble in her playpen. I was stronger than that. so then I figured out what to do. I probably was becoming ana, and who knows if i'm going back there soon, but at the time I was able to realize what I was starting to do [like you are] before it was too late. so i fixed it. If you just keep yourself in check and don't go too far, you'll be fine. Yes, I still do some of these things and don't really treat my body how I normally should. but its not ruining my life. Its just part of my... altered diet routine :)

    wowww so sorry for the freakin book. lol

  6. Thank you for following :)
    That sucks that u couldnt fit into your dress but congrats for the weightloss
    If you have most of the symptoms I guess it means you are ana... but I think everyone who has it must have been at one point in denial of it.. but its your choice on what you want to do about it because I want ana to lead me to the road to perfection.


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