Thursday, December 9, 2010

Shit shit shit shit shit

Oh my Anafly, oh how you have failed. I haven't failed in the sense that I've binged (well I have, I ate some cake that was offered today that sooooo won't fit in my 400 calories limit) but that's not what I'm talking about.
Ok, I made the stupid stupid stupid decision earlier this year to go see the school counsellor after my friend who had moved four hours away was hospitalised for anorexia (she's healthier than ever now). I told her that I had similar thought patterns to someone who was anorexic and that it scared me. She asked me to keep a food diary and I saw her nearly every week for about four months. Then I had all these excursions, I was busy and blah blah blah so I had to stop seeing her. Then she didn't make another booking with me and I realised that I didn't want to see her, I didn't want her to change anything. So today my year was going to the beach because we're graduting tomorrow (only year 10 mind you). I was in the office because I had to hand in my sign out sheet when I bumped into her. I was wearing one of my favourite dresses. It's floral and has boneing (I think that's what it's called?) at the rib cage, it's tight around the waist and has thin noddle straps. When I bumped into her she told me that the dress really showed off that I'd lost weight. Too much weight. She said that she hadn't had a session with me in ages (oh nuh, really?) and she could tell I'd lost weight. I just answered 'uuhm... maybe?' because I didn't know how to respond. This was meant to be a secret. Then she said the absolute worst thing she could ever ever EVER say.

I think I'm going to have to ring your mum.
I'll ring her today.
No no no no no no no no! I don't know if she did, she's always really busy and often doesn't have time. I don't know what to do if she has. I think I might just play it cool if my mum brings it up... Say something like "No? that's not why I saw here, I saw her because I was concerned about S." But I have a slight feeling that won't work. I think she might already be on to me. Borjfiorugryghiurghyirhgueo9ipsklkfj. I'm so sorry guys, just all that I had planned seems to be failing all at the same time. I have more to whine about but maybe I'll do it some other time? I'm just going to draw my anger away...

I love you all so so so so much,
Love Anafly


  1. Hey Anafly, keep your head up. I love your blog. I'm going to follow you. Hope you'll check out my blog

  2. I hate counsellors. Always so nosy!
    I guess you are just going to have to wait and see if she does speak to anyone about you :(
    Muffin x

  3. ohh NO! thats not cool at all of your counselor, you trusted her and now she's betraying it. maybe you should go see her and explain stuff before she calls your mom? unless that would make it worse. who knows, maybe she'll forget, or everything just works out and its not a problem :) keep your chin up.

  4. just wait and see what happens, that is really all that you can do. thinking of you, and i hope she never got around to calling

  5. OH NO. I could never be a counsellor just because they do the most nost, snoopy, and assuming things.

    I am SO sorry that you are going through this! When I saw your title come up on my blog roll I though that you had had an awfull binge (like moi), but this is MUCh worse. We are here to talk---and I hope everything turns out okay!

    stay strong sweetheart!


Flutter Away