Thursday, January 20, 2011

I'm in Quite a Whimsical State

I feel like I'm almost floating
Today started off a really chilled day. I woke up at 11, my mum's friend was here and they spent most of the day talking. I had a sushi roll for breakfast (260 calories) but I had planned that if I slept in the sushi roll could count as both brekky and lunch. I know that it's still a LOT of calories that isn't good enough but I love sushi :/
I'm going to a picnic tomorrow not that you'replanning on eating anything so once I'd eaten I decided to look for things that I could cook. I love cooking, it makes me feel calm and it surprisingly suppresses my appetite you still eat way too much. I chose to make pumpkin scones, vanilla cupcakes, fruit skewers and choc chip cupcakes; all by scratch, might I had (sorry I'm a little bit cheeky). So I went to the fruit shop then got home and got stuck into cooking the vanilla cupcakes which my were already half eaten by my family before I moved on. I didn't have any, like a good little girl but you licked the spoon you fat cow.
I then moved onto the pumpkin scones. I've never had them or made them before but my mum said that Grandma used to make them all the time and that they were the best. My mum also said that Grandma would be watching me make them saying "That's my Granddaughter", which was sweet of her to say. Not that we're religious or anything, but... spiritual.
Anyway, the scones were a lot harder to make than thought. The dough didn't really turn out like a dough, more like glue so I had to keep adding tons of flour. As we were making them though (let me know if this happens to you, I get it quite often but it normally happens when I stand up too quickly) I could tell what was about to come on. I felt tingly and then, as it usually does, my eyes went black, my ears started to ring a bit and I had to sit down. Kind of like blacking out? I hate it when it happens. Once it passed I got back up to cook the scones but it happened again and i had to sit down. Is it because of my food intake or something? I hadn't eaten for six hours. My mum said I looked really pale, almost green and so I couldn't go to Zumba and burn away those disgusting calories and that fat.
Later on she said I might not of eaten enough but I said I had. She tried to make me have some pasta I said 'yes of course' but never got up to eat it. She wants me to have a blood test... does this mean the doctor will find anything out? you need to shed these kilos that you gained overseas and then get down to 44 kilos.

My whole days intake ended up being 397 calories you fat arse.

I just finished the choc chip cupcakes and am making the fruit skewers in the morning. Not that I plan on eating any of this, or if I have to I'll have a fruit skewer.

Tomorrows plan:
brekky: a tomato; 16 cals
lunch: a fruit skewer; 62 cals
dinner (if I can use the excuse 'I ate too much at the picnic'): a tomato; 16

Which will equal to 94 calories. Sounds too good to be true. If I slip up and have a cupcake that would equal 337... but 94 sounds so much nicer.

fingers crossed for me please, my beautiful butterflies


  1. lol zumba?! i tried it... i stopped because i felt like an asshole :P
    i hope it makes you sexy!!
    tomorrows plan sounds wonderful and im sure in the morning you will wake up incredibly happy knowing that you are doing so well <3

  2. Oh you're so wonderfullllll! I love that you cook, it's delightful.
    A blood test... would be hard. Your levels show up; calcium, iron, vitamins, nutrients, plus your blood pressure and heart rate are taken, all of it; so much can be told from a blood test.
    When I used to get bad head spins, I took iron supplements; just two daily, and it helps so much. Low iron really makes you funny, all light headed.
    I do hope you feel more well soon, though; for the picnic.

    I love you, dear.

  3. I luv Zumba =)

    I used to have a blog awhile ago but now I am on a journey to recovery, to better eating habits so I have created a new blog!! I chose to follow people who have distorted eating as I feel they understand what I am going through a lot better =) I would be great if we could support each other =)

    “Keep your dreams alive. Understand to achieve anything requires faith and belief in yourself, vision, hard work, determination, and dedication. Remember all things are possible for those who believe.”

    ♥ Bree

  4. That happens to me sometimes :/
    I hope tomorrow goes okay! take care xx

  5. Hello there! First of all, thank you so very much for following my blog and for the gorgeous comment you left on it; you honestly made my day!

    To get to your question about where I get my pictures from- well, they're mostly from flickr, though when I come across something truly inspirational when randomly web browsing, I save it and use it later in my posts.

    Just read your first post and going to read some of your earlier ones; you know you yourself are an inspiration, right? To weight below 50 kg is my dream... but enough about me! I'm really glad you found me and from now on- I'll be checking back frequently!



  6. Hey..
    I've been reading your blog for a while now. only just followed. But your weight loss has told me hat being bulimic is stupid and I'm trying hard to change. And after counting calories I'm finding it easier to stop. I have been feeling a bit light headed and really exhausted.. Attempting to stay under 400cal a day is almost exciting for me. But thanks for making me realise that what I was doing was dumb.


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