Anyway I'm sorry if I sound like a broken record here but I am so truly thankful that you guys are following me, reading what I have to say and even better, commenting on my posts. I love you all. The other day I was thinking about how lonely this whole eating thing is and how no one I know understands but then I stopped and thought about you guys. You guys understand what I'm going through, you guys know that I just can't 'switch it off'. I knew that if I posted how I was feeling on here someone would read it and agree. So thank you. Thank you so so much.
Yesterdays eating was fantastic... until dinner. You see occasionally when I eat my family aren't around. They're busy getting ready in the morning while i have breakfast, they're not with me at school and sometimes I'm so hungry when I get home I eat dinner early before they get home. Last night though while my dad was in Melbourne I went out for dinner with my mum and my brother. I ordered a salad (minus the dressing) and when my mum gave me a dissaproiving look I also ordered a bread roll. That seemed fine but then my mum brought up how her high school friends daughter (who's a couple years older than me and has had anorexia for roughly two years) used to just have salad for dinner and this was an early sign of anorexia. I just said that I wasn't hungry after Zumba but they then forced me to order and eat a cheesecake in front of them claiming I needed to put on weight. Phhhhh. Liars. After eating 2/3 of it I complained of feeling 'sick' because they forced me to eat the cheesecake when I was already full. My mum was then just like 'We didn't force you to eat it'. Grrrrrr.
So anyway today I think I made up for that with a small bowl of Guardian cereal for breakfast, a mini wholemeal avocado roll for lunch and three mini potato, pring onion, dill and chive pancakes (and lots of tea and water).
I've been reading all your blogs religiously, you guys amaze me.