Saturday, November 27, 2010

I know that it wasn't long ago I posted

But I just... I just can't. I don't exactly know what it is I just can't, I just can't. Today I was meant to be in control of what I ate but nooooo I had to eat some of the muffin my parents brought me home and eat lotssssssssss of the lemon tart I made.
I just want to swear my bloody head of but I'm not the one to swear, I sound tacky. I am just so pissed of with myself. I do so well and then I just fail fail fail and keep on failing. I keep feeding the little monsters inside my belly.

Me part 1: I'm hungry
Me part 2: No you're not
part 1: Then what's this feeling inside my belly?
part 2: That's control and strength, hold onto it.
part 1: Ok. I will

~later on~

part 2: You failed. You fed those little clawing monsters
part 1: I know, I'm so sorry. I gave in. I know that if I keep doing this I'll become a big fat pudge
part 2: Tomorrow you're going to eat barely anything
part 1: Yes I know. I agree. I will

~later on~

part 1: You know what, I'm fairly skinny, I mean I'm 171.5 cm tall and weigh around 48-50 kilos
part 2: That's not good enough. Pull your head into gear you need to lose more more more
part 1: You're right. Again. Alright I will

But now it seems no how matter how hard I try I can't seem to lose much more. I hate this. I hate this cycle. FUCK IT! JUST LET ME LOSE THE WEIGHT I WANT! PLEASE STOP ME FROM BINGING! Ok, now I'm handing my body over to you. Just please get me there. I need to. Please.

**I am so sorry for the negativity of this post.
It's so out of character, especially the swearing.
But I desperately needed to vent**


  1. vent away here, we love honesty.
    and venting helps!

  2. I know how you feel hun, no need to apologize. Its the same for me, I keep giving in and failing, but remember, thats when you pick yourself up and never give in again. I know you can do this
    xoxo- ryssa.

  3. I'm sorry honey! I know that feelin... I mean look at my last post. I hate that disappointment that an set in and you are shamed by yourself... its terrible. You can do this babe. think thin.

  4. we all fuck up sometimes. im quite sure i fuck up more than you. you skinny minnie. totally jealous right now of your teeny tiny bmi.
    ahhhh i adore you miss ana
    last week, I flew to san diego to see my auntie.
    on day one, I met her hot step-daughter.
    she's a cheerleader, she's a virgin, and she's really tan.
    as she stepped out of her massive car,
    I could only notice she was more than fuckable.
    I think she was coming back from the game or something,
    'cause she was holding those silly pom-poms
    on day two, I fucked her, and it was wild.
    she's such a slut."

  5. p.s. how come you're not a follower of me meanie
    x x x


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